GH O TI
f
i sh
Issue No.
1
An Invitation
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Brooke, Liz, and Lauren are
throwing a party this Friday. You really have to come. They’re
celebrating the fact that Lauren finally got over a bad case of botulism, I
guess. Dented soup cans and all that. Who’s coming? Everybody is going to be
there. Chris will be there. I think he’s bringing Kristen,
Meghan, and Crystal. And you know that if Meghan’s going to be there,
so will Who else? Well, I think that Eva, Frankie and
Jeff were going to throw a joint birthday party but they didn’t want theirs
to compete with the girls’, so they’re going to combine. So their
friends are going to be there, too. You know. Margalit,
Faith, Rich, Chris, Erica. Oh, and Erica called her friends from It’s going to be crazy!
The last time everybody all got together, Christie and Mitra
organized a huge game of spin-the-bottle, and I remember that Pat got all mad
that Donna was going to kiss Carla, but of course Quinn, Charlie and Tom were
totally into it. Liz is getting a bunch of kegs, and you know that the
last time that Hillary was at a kegger (yeah,
she’ll be there), she ended up dancing around naked, so she’ll probably pull
some similar stunt this time.
And it’s for sure that if Hillary is there, so will Eric. Do you
remember what he did at the last party? That incident with the candle
that sent Jenny, James and Dwayne all to the emergency room? Oh god, I
hope that happens again, that was classic!
And apparently Jane and Brooke made up, so Jane’s gonna
be there with her usual crew: Clara, Tiffany, Sally and John-o. Tiffany
said that she’s going to do that thing where she peels an entire orange using
only her teeth, and, don’t tell anyone, but John-o is planning on pouring
bleach into Lauren’s shampoo. I guess to get back at her for that whole
‘swallowing his contact lenses’ incident.
The girls are organizing a bunch of party games too, I think. Like Pin
the Tail on Paul, Puke-o-Rama and Twenty Minutes in
the Trunk.
What else? Well, Lisa is going to do her re-enactment of the PCP scene
in that Helen Hunt movie. Dave is going to hammer nails into his nasal
cavity.
Chris will accidentally handcuff himself to Alexis.
Charlie is going to get Lisa pregnant and deny it, too, just like he did at
the last party.
Hank will make himself pass out by choking himself.
Greenie is going to wander into a neighbor’s house, barricade herself inside
and prevent the rightful owners from entering.
Greg will wrap himself in garbage bags and sit in the sauna and sweat himself
down to his fighting weight, and then wrestle Jim.
Martha and Jenna will fight, and then begin peppering each other with
passionate kisses.
And we’ll all say that it would have been the best party ever if the cops
hadn’t shown up.
And we’ll play Twister, too. |
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